There’s this strange shift that happens when we grow up.
One minute, we’re children whose every emotion is acknowledged — a scraped knee earns a hug, a tear is wiped gently, fear is met with reassurance. And then suddenly, somewhere between puberty and a paycheque, we stop getting that softness.
We grow up, and the world stops checking in. We cry, and people laugh awkwardly. We break down, and they say, “Everyone’s going through something, toughen up.” As if adulthood means we’re not allowed to feel anymore.
But I want to ask something — since when did growing up mean giving up our right to be human?
I’ve had moments when I wanted to cry in public — overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious — but I held it in because I feared being judged. I’ve had breakdowns in the bathroom, at work, at home, in silence, because society doesn’t know what to do with an adult’s sadness. It makes people uncomfortable.
People assume that once you’re grown, you should have it all together. That tears are dramatic. That vulnerability is weakness. But here’s what I believe: it takes strength to feel. It takes courage to admit you’re not okay.
Why do we expect so much emotional control from adults and offer so little understanding in return?
You can be in your 30s and still need a hug. You can be in your 40s and still feel lost. You can have a family, a job, a degree — and still break down. You are not less worthy of care because you’re an adult. In fact, that’s when we often need it the most.
This post isn’t just a rant. It’s a reminder.
To you, the one who cries in silence: you are not weak.
To you, the one who’s exhausted from holding it all in: you are not alone.
To you, the one who’s been told “you’re too emotional”: you’re just human.
Let’s normalize adult feelings. Let’s make space for grown-up breakdowns. Let’s be kinder — not just to others, but to ourselves.
We don’t stop needing softness just because we grow up. We never did. We never will.
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